Richland Dance Class Club

I just thought that maybe instead of having dancing lessons as a class, we could start a dance club at the school. You can start your own clubs can't you? It might be a bit hard to start off this year due to the lateness and the time that track will take up pretty soon, but it might work if we got it started. We would definitely need someone who knows how to dance though, I am not that person. Any ideas?

There's also a new picture posted in the picture section.

- Steve

Witty Title

I have said this to anyone who will listen in person, now I am going to whine and moan about it here. Our school needs a dance class. I don't know about anyone else, but I think that this would just totally put our school over the top.

When I say dancing, I am not talking about grinding any poles, cheesy conga line moves, or whatever Raven means by "the cowboy," but some sophisticated dancing. The Tango, the Waltz, swing, salsa or, heck, even crap like the jitter bug. I think that many students would be interested in learning how to shake their stuff in a way that could make them the spotlight of any dance, be it formal or "in da club."

Just imagine how much better all of the school dances would be if these kind of dances were taught in school. First, the dance floor would always packed because everyone would have the confidence that they could dance just as good as anyone else and, second, that there would surely be at least one couple that's super good. That couple could steal the center of the dance floor and flip their dates around their head until they puked! (Referring to swing dancing, of course.) OH, HOW I YEARN TO PUKE FROM DANCING!

I really don't have the time to sit down and churn out a crappy five-paragraph essay persuading you that the school should provide a dance class, but let me just quickly go over a list of some of the benefits to be drawn from a class like this.

• Students would learn dances that they could use at other formal events throughout their entire life



• The Dancing skills would guarantee students to be the life of the dance floor



• Increased dancing skill and enjoyment of dancing would result in greater attendance and participation at dances



• The greater attendance and participation at dances and close involvement with others during the class would draw people together and form new tightly knit friendships with students throughout the school



• The strong friendships between people formed at the class and previous dances would boost the attendance of future dances and all other school activities



• Increased attendance at dances and other activities would increase profit from all the events and break free a budget for awesome new possibilities at future events

As proven above, the dance class would basically lead to a huge spiraling exponential increase in school spirit, attendance at events and even profit. It seems too good to be true. In fact, it probably is. And that is why we probably don't have an awesome dance class provided at our school.

Until we get a dance class at school, who's up for looking for some lessons elsewhere?

- Steve

- Steve

Prank IM

I saw "Jibzter" sign on tonight and had no idea who he was. So I talked to him! I am soooo outgoing. He turned out to be Jon and here is the conversation that followed:

Scuba5teve002: heeeey
Jibzter: Hey
Scuba5teve002: what's going on?
Jibzter: Oh yeah!
Jibzter: It's you
Jibzter: Sorry
Jibzter: I get IMs from strangers all the time
Scuba5teve002: funny that you mention that, because I have no idea who you are
Jibzter: It took me a while to remember who you were
Scuba5teve002: I IM strangers all the time
Scuba5teve002: lol
Jibzter: It' Jon!
Scuba5teve002: oh
Scuba5teve002: ey meng!
Scuba5teve002: no wonder I didn't recognize you, I have never IMed you before
Jibzter: Yeah
Jibzter: I've never Im'ed you either
Jibzter: I've got to turn the volume on my comp down, all these Im beeps are blowing my head apart.
Scuba5teve002: I turned the sounds off in IM long ago
Scuba5teve002: they drive me crazy
Jibzter: I see
Jibzter: heh
Scuba5teve002: wait...
Jibzter: I can see how that would happen
Scuba5teve002: turn your volume up for a second
Scuba5teve002: I want to show you something
Scuba5teve002 wants to directly connect.
Jibzter is now directly connected.
Scuba5teve002: up?
Jibzter: Coolio
Jibzter: Yeah
Jibzter: I'm up
Scuba5teve002: this song is a bit quiet, so turn it up kinda louder than usual
Scuba5teve002: so'right?
Scuba5teve002: (sending some song file)
Jibzter: (sent a picture of coolio)
Scuba5teve002 closed direct connection.
Scuba5teve002: BEEEP!!
Scuba5teve002: BEEEP!!
Scuba5teve002: BEEEP!!
Scuba5teve002: BEEEP!!
Scuba5teve002: BEEEP!!
Scuba5teve002: BEEEP!!
Scuba5teve002: BEEEP!!
Scuba5teve002: BEEEP!!
Scuba5teve002: BEEEP!!

---

Jibzter: The last message was not sent because you are over the rate limit. Please wait until sending is re-enabled and send the message again.

---

---

Jibzter: AHHHH!! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!

Instant classic. What a great saturday night. < / sarcasm >

- Steve

Lunch

"Eating two 1/4 lb cheeseburgers is human,
but eating two 1/2 lb burgers and a 12 oz Blizzard is divine."

- Steve

3M Ad

I saw this cool Security Glass ad made by 3M. It's neat. Here's the pic:



...and the article to follow.

- Steve

Midnight Revelation

I don't think that this needs any explaining.





- Steve

Sorry that I haven't been updating too often lately, I have been kind of caught up doing other things and just haven't really had anything to write about either. But why place the blame on myself? After all, it's you who never comments on anything that I write and leaves me without inspiration for something else to write. You are a coldhearted reader.

Yesterday I made a sweet shirt from an idea that Tyler had. For some reason he said to make a t-shirt into an Eskimo parka. I thought that it was a good idea so I drew up some plans, cut some fabric from an older t-shirt that I didn't really like to make a hood and sewed that onto a new blank t-shirt. Then I cut off the fur from a coat that I found somewhere a while ago and lined the hood with it. I finished the shirt off by clearly labeling it "Eskimo."

It turned out awesome.

Note: I put up a a new song in the Music Section.

- Steve

Ricky G. Punk

Ricky G. Punk here. Anyone else have a totally punk-rocking night?

- Ricky G. Punk

Another Short Story

Jack was just a cat trying to get the bread. He was one of those free-flowing artists who was out there just trying to make it for himself. Jack does not think that I am writing this story very well.

In fact, I don't like this story any more. I had a great story in my head about some guy that gets stuck in some isolated location like an island or something and his only chance of getting off the island is sending out Morse code messages to anyone who might hear them. The man trapped on the island only remembers a bit of Morse code that he learned from boy scouts or something and tries to send out an "S.O.S." message. He thinks that Morse code for "S.O.S." is three long beeps, three short ones and three more long ones and sends it our for years and years. Little does the main character know, he is really sending out the code for "O.S.O" and that, although hundreds of people are receiving his message, no one understands it. All that they hear is "O.S.O. ...... O.S.O. ..... O.S.O ...." Many ships travel past the island and receive the stranded man's cryptic message and get fed up with the "stupid punks jamming up their communications."

Actually, I wasn't really sure how I wanted to end this story either. The only thing that I really had at all was the irony that the man was sending out the message "O.S.O." repeatedly and no one could figure out that he was really trying to say "S.O.S."

Any suggestions?

- Steve

My Ultimate V-Day Music Mix

In accordance with the commercialism of every holiday ever I have created my very own "Ultimate V-Day Music Mix." I tried to make it up mostly of what I think are mostly obscure songs that many people may have not heard before. You ever heard a song all alone with no one around and cried thinking to yourself "this is the kind of song that needs to go on an Ultimate V-Day Music Mix?" I do all the time and these are those songs.

In the spirit of decency if you like some of these artists go and buy some albums or something. Because I sure haven't.

Steve's Ultimate V-Day Music Mix

1. Travis - Writing To Reach You


2. Guster - Amsterdam


3. The Spill Canvas - The Tide


4. The Zombies - The Way I Feel Inside


5. Nazareth - Love Hurts


6. Evan Gross - Blackbird


7. Lazlo Bane - Overkill


8. The Shins - New Slang


9. Will Ferrell - Afternoon Delight


10. Iron and Wine - Such Great Heights


11. Nico - These Day


12. Oasis - Wonderwall


13. Colin Hay - I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You


14. Elliot Smith - Needle In The Hay


15. Stellastarr* - Untitled


16. Michael Bublé - Save the Last Dance for Me

Download here - Ultimate V-Day Mix 42.7 MB

- Steve

V-Day

Valentine's Day, the day that everyone on the internet hates because everyone on the internet is on the internet. But I, for one, don't think that Valentine's Day is all that bad. It is a fun day where you get candy and cards and, if you are lucky enough, something really special. Like duct tape roses.

I spent the majority of my Sunday sitting in my room making duct tape roses and watching Smallville. I saw the instructions to make the duct tape roses on some duct tape how to site. I really have no idea why I was there, but it all worked out good. I didn't have red or green tape to spice the roses up so I tried to depend totally on the perfection of the petals and stem. It's just too bad that the shapes of the petals and stem didn't turn out to spectacular as well. The picture on the top of the two duct tape roses shown here is what my normal grey duct tape roses actually looked like and the picture on the bottom is that same picture all photoshoped up to look somewhat like what I hoped they ended up. (I kind of liked the original picture with the background and all as well.)

I had the great idea of selling a ton of roses around school on this Valentine's Day, but I didn't think of this soon enough and wasn't able to get the red and green dut tape that I needed in order to create a product worthy of selling. After seeing people's reactions to just the normal grey duct tape roses I wish that I had whipped up a whole lot more of them to sell to people. I would have made mad cash. Note the diagram below.


After a good four hours, or so, of late night sweat shop work the tendons in my hands were literally grinding across my knuckles. I finally finished the last of a dozen personally made duct tape roses for my Valentine bouquet and went to bed. Over night I had a dream. A dreamt of a magic talking fork that was a food critic for popular restraunts. His name was Steve.

- Steve

Puzzle

Here is the hardest puzzle thing on the internet that I have found. Sean, from the cesspool sent it to me and we worked through to level 9 together this morning. It is super hard! Fun to work on with other people.

"not pron puzzle"

- Steve

Question of the Night

Andy: "If you rape someone and they give you AIDS, can you sue them?"

- Steve

Hausaufgabe (Homework)

First of all every word sounds a lot cooler in German.

Secondly, homework kind of sucks. Or, maybe, I just suck at homework. It is 'round near 11 and I am yet to start my Math, Language Arts, Biology or Geography homework. So what am I doing instead of starting my homework? I'm sitting here writing this and IMing people. I had better get paid for writing someday!

- Steve

Beckness

The trippiest music video and animation that I have ever seen!

Some Beck Music Video

- Steve

Eis Hunde

Here is a sweet animation from German class that me and Brandon made. We were told to work in assigned groups to make a commercial selling a product. My group didn't like my Eis Hunde idea, which roughly translates to ice cream hot dog, and wouldn't go along with it. Brandon saw the potential in Eis Hunde and came over to my house outside of school to help record lines, develop the commercial story line and start the animation. We worked on it for a good three hours that afternoon and let it rest overnight. The next day Brandon and I were both tired and decided that we would go home to sleep and that I would work on the animation over night (as in 8 PM to 4 AM or so). I ended up working on the animation right when I got home at 3 all the way until 11:30 that night.

Today, after it was played in German class, it was a big hit. Everyone was going crazy for Eis Hunde. So I revealed that during lunch I had bought hot dog buns and ice cream at Albertson's and that we could make them right there in class! Oh, you should have seen the glee that spread through the room! I didn't have enough buns for everyone and Kip had enough nerve to throw his away, but I quickly salvaged it from the trash can and treasured it as I ate it. I don't mind that Kip threw it away, he didn't deserve it anyways.

Es war Fantastich.

Heir ist "Eis Hunde:"

Eis Hunde (hi-fi .swf)
Eis Hunde (lo-fi .swf)
Eis Hunde (hi-fi .exe)

Subtitled:

Eis Hunde Subtitled (hi-fi .swf)
Eis Hunde Subtitled (lo-fi .swf)
Eis Hunde Subtitled (hi-fi .exe)

Update: When I was first getting started animating I always wanted to just take a look at other people's work files to see their techniques and how they did different things. For some reason I thought that seeing their work would just make everything fall together in my mind and let me become a genius animator.

Wellllll I never found an animation that would show it's work file. Just in case anyone else has ever wanted to see how another animator gets things done and for some reason they want to look at my work I am posting my flash work file. It includes all of the pictures, sounds, music, tweens and bla bla bla that I used to make the Eis Hunde animation. So download it, tear it up and defile it. Just have a good time.

Eis Hunde.fla 12.6 MB (You will need Macromedia Flash to open this file. Macromedia provides a free 30-day trial version on their site. You should definitely check it out.)

- Steve

iTunes Top 10 Albums

1. Beck - Hell Yes - EP


2. 3 Doors Down - Seventeen Days


3. Garden State Soundtrack


4. Green Day - American Idiot


5. The Postal Service - We Will Become silhouettes


6. Keane - Hopes and Fears


7. Eliott Smith - Speed Trials - EP


8. 2005 Grammy Nominees


9. The Killers - Hot Fuss


10. Maroon 5 - Songs About Jane

Here's where I take the top 10 albums being sold on the iTunes Music Store and compare my own preferences to them. Looks like the Grammy Nominees album is the only album on there that I don't absolutely love, well besides Maroon 5.

I personally like the Eliott Smith, Garden State Soundtrack and The Killers albums the best.

Ironic how often I am finding the iTunes music store to be the perfect guide to preview and download music... from other places.


- Steve

Richland Girls Varsity Basketball vs Eisenhower

Tonight was the kind of night that every Richland High student should be proud of. After struggling through the first two quarters of the game, coming up at the end of the first tied at 11 and down by a point or two in the second quarter, our Bomber ladies sucked in their gut and blew the competition away in the second half.

The last three minutes of the game were the most intense that I have ever witnessed. Our Bombers had just secured a hearty ten point lead and looked to be on their way to smashing this undefeated team. The ladies kept this lead and only ran with it increasing their win to a final 41 to 28... or so. Correct me if I am wrong.

So what made it the most intense three minutes of a game that I have ever seen? How about the last three minutes of game time actually ended up being about ten minutes of what I call "real life" time and those ten minutes happened to start just about ten minutes before Scrubs! Every foul called and free throw taken was just teasing me that we wouldn't catch the beginning of Scrubs. With only two minutes left until Scrubs was due to start the game finally ended and my friends and I rushed out to the parking lot to my van to go see Scrubs.

Luckily, we came prepared. We all knew that the game would be a close call interfering with Scrubs, so I brought along my battery operated portable TV, chips, soda and the seats in the van. We got to the car and set up our portable living room outside the gym and were able to just catch the last commercial before Scrubs started.

The episode was not only great in itself, but also in the way that we presented it to ourselves. There is just nothing like watching Zach Braff do his work under a clear star-lit sky with a cool spring breeze graze across your face. It felt like the episode would never end.

- Steve

Link Crazy

Zombie Simulator

This is a program that shows how a zombie infestation of a city would spread. It shows green or grey dots for zombies and pink dots to represent humans. The zombies wander around the city until they spot a human, when they see the human they run directly at it. If a human sees a zombie it panics and is able to run twice as fast as usual to get away from the zombie. If another human dot sees a panicked human it will itself become panicked and run away. If a zombie dot comes in contact with a human the human turns into a zombie.

Very interesting simulator. It looks like the humans never win.

Update: A much cooler simulator

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David Blaine rips his heart out on Carson Daly's show

This movie was sent to me by Matt Forsyth. He keeps asking me if I believe in magic after seeing this movie, but I don't think that ripping a heart out has anything to do with magic. Even if he really did rip his own real heart out that wouldn't be magic, that would just be undeniable brute strength and guts.

---

The Srory of RickyM

This looks like the coolest movie ever! A story about some guy in a prison that fights a ton of other guys who are in like the prison masters gang or something. I don't really remember and the site seems to be down for the time being so I can't give too many more facts. Once the site is back up you need to check out the movie clip of "THE HEAD SMASH."

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Radio Head - Creep (Animation)

This is, hands down, the very best flash animation that I have ever seen. The animator was right to include shots of the timeline in the credits, he deserves to brag about all that work. He has got to have at least 200 different layers and 10,000 key frames on each one! That animator = creamy!

- Steve

Journalism

I want to become a journalist and establish a name for myself. Then when I am interviewing coaches and athletes before big games I can whip out awesome questions like:

"Does your team have any established game day breakfasts? And if so, what part of your team's breakfast do you think will give you the edge in today's game?"

and

"Steve Geluso from the Wall Steve Journal here, I noticed that everyone on the team is wearing shoelaces. Recent studies have shown that Velcro is the future for sports and that many teams will be competitively making the switch around mid season. When do you think that Velcro will be a requirement for your team?"

The best part of this job would not be watching the interviewee try to answer the unrelated confusing question intelligently, but publishing the answers.

- Steve

myspace = myspam

I have never gotten as much spam mail in all my life together than I have since making a myspace. This is crazy.

- Steve

Justice Fast

If you consider not eating for 30 hours and working around the community a great time, then I had a great weekend.

If you don't, then you are sane.

That not-eating-for-30-hours thing for my church was Friday and Saturday from 1 PM Friday afternoon to 7 PM Saturday evening. During the time that we didn't eat we got to go down to the judicial building in Kennewick behind Target and learn about the courtroom and how trials are run. The Judge there even tried a kid in our group. It was pretty interesting. The most amazing thing that I found out was that they can take off the cover to the defendant's chair and it turns into the electric chair and he can be shocked right then and there. Thankfully, no one got hurt too bad.

We hung out at the church after going to the Judicial building and my good friend Paul joined me in a round of knives on my new portable knife throwing board. That didn't last too long.

The next morning we went to an elderly Woman's house and did some yard work for her, worked at the food bank, did some work out at the church and then attended the Saturday evening church service.

Then we ate.

Everyone else seemed to only eat a plate or two of food and they were the ones that had been complaining the whole day that they were super hungry. I had prepared for the meal and had been drinking water all day to stretch out my stomach in preparation for the meal. I got this stomach stretching trick from the master-eater of the world, Crawford. The stretching of my stomach with the water left me with enough room for 4 full plates of dinner. That is not quite up to par with the 12 Plate Dinner Marathon at Granny's, but I was proud of myself.

I eventually came back home and slept for a solid 12 hours.

- Steve

Briefs

I finally put to use my "Briefs" section on the right side bar. It will be used to keep track of the three most recent things added to each other section of the site. I made this so that you can quickly glance at the Briefs column to see if there is anything new in a section instead of having to visit each page individualy.

The cool thing about this is that when you post something to the other sections of the site, as you should be doing if you have something good to share, then this will make it easier for everyone to notice it and see it. It will make it a lot easier for you to get famous!

Speaking of posting on the site, wouldn't you like to get something cool out there to be seen by the over 2,000 people that visit this page every day? You could establish a name for yourself on the internet! That would be cool, wouldn't it? Don't you want your name to show up when you Google yourself? Take control of your life!

I need to make a cool poster to get people to post.

I will call it "The Posting Poster."

Update: I made it, "The Posting Poster."



- Steve

Newbie's Guide to HTML

I blew four hours today and finished up my Newbie's Guide to HTML. This guide will, hopefully, teach all of you how to edit text to make it look cool, make links, upload pictures and music and insert pictures into posts that you put on the site.

The point in me blowing four hours of my day is so that anyone who wants to post to the site can do so with the knowledge to add links, pictures and upload their own cool stuff. HINT HINT.

So check it out.

The Newbie's Guide to HTML.

If you don't check it out, then I will hunt you down and eat you. Not joking.

- Steve

Your Spaces

Fun Fact: I have been trying to write this for the past few days now. Ironically enough, at least five different people have come up to me randomly and told me that they have found my myspace page. I didn't even know that I had one! These are getting out of hand!

I kind of have this thing about myspace. You see, they kind of make me angry inside. I don't like how they promote shoddy web design, (that being said from the man whose web page does not look how it should in his regular browser? HA!) weird "artistic" pictures of people taking pictures of themselves and drugs. And alcohol!

Ok, fine, they don't really do half that stuff. Or even a third. The one point that I will stick to until the day that I die is the horrible horrible no common sense design that is applied to every single myspace page. People choose background images that BURN YOUR EYES OUT when you are trying to read whatever they have to say. I hate that.

When your eyes aren't being burnt out they are trying to sort through all the crap crammed on the page just to single in on one thing. Each page is crammed with the same old info each time that you go to it and it just becomes a hassle looking at it every visit.

But I will admit it, myspaces are not all that bad. In fact, I think that I am just jealous of them. There is no denying their awesome power at creating massive social networks. Every single person that I have seen on there has at least 100 friends. If you stumble across just one page from someone at a school you can follow the roots deeper and deeper until you have mapped out practically the entire social network of the school. The part that I am jealous of is the seemingly tight-knit community that myspacers have.

When I redesigned my site with the ability to let other people contribute to it I thought that I was going to bring something new to my friends and peers from school. I didn't think that too many of them would be very familiar with the idea of blogging and getting their material out on to the web. I thought that I was going to make the coolest ever that everyone could say they are a part of. I was wrong. Everyone using myspace has been doing that for a while. A lot of myspace users have been blogging even longer than myself. I was rather embarrassed when I found all this out.

So basically I hate the way that myspace designs the layout of all of their pages, but I respect the social network that it has so effectively developed. I like the freedom that my site has given me and will be happy to leave the entire myspace world as your spaces.

Until later, check out my myspace page! Thehe!

Oh and befriend me in myspace! I want to have the most friends ever so that more people will come to this site and start contributing.

Start a revolution?


- Steve

Pittsburgh

My LA class was assigned the task of hard-boiling an egg, drawing a face on it and clothing it, putting it up for adoption and finally taking in a new egg from another peer as a foster child. When we got our new foster eggs we had to fill out a brief form asking about the egg child's name, weight, appearance, medical history and then write a story about the egg's life before it was put into foster care.

I have already turned in the paper explaining the eggs appearance and medical history so I wont be able to share that with you until I get it back. To summarize it briefly, I just mentioned that the egg had cobalt blue eyes, dark red hair, pudgy cheeks, weighed twice as much as other children his age, had diabetes, was color-blind and had a hard time breathing due to the sheer size of his body. I gave him the most powerful and independent name that I could think of, Pittsburgh.

I bring you "The Former Life of Pittsburgh:"

Disclaimer: This writing was published on this site purely to share my own writing with others in order to entertain them. I did not fail any assignment and I am not asking for any public outcry against any one. Seriously.

Pittsburgh came from a long line of fit-bodied able business tycoons. His great-grandfather started a logging business when he moved to the Cascade's after emigrating from Germany. He and his family cleared out whole forests and looked like they had bright futures ahead of themselves. Not long after the family company’s established success, they were attacked by Indians who claimed that they were logging on their ancient burial grounds.

An entire family was scalped the day that the Indians came; an entire family of hundreds of Indians. This kind of bloodthirsty rage was what drove the family to financial success and led to Pittsburgh's eventual fate.

When Pittsburgh was born to his father he weighed a hefty 12 pounds and 7 ounces. His father thought nothing of his rather large weight other than just assuming that Pittsburgh would grow into a big strong young man. He was proud of his new son.
With all of the physical capability that Pittsburgh's father saw inside his son they quickly formed a quite strong relationship. He hoped that Pittsburgh would be a great help logging and eventually take over the business himself.

Pittsburgh ate more and more as each day went on. When he was only a month old doctors had declared him morbidly obese. His father started to question his child's future and put him in an eating program to help control his weight.

During Pittsburgh's first session to control his eating problem, he fainted. He was rushed to the hospital and admitted to the emergency room. During all of the frenzy in the emergency room a doctor took Pittsburgh's prominent father aside and explained to him that Pittsburgh had diabetes.

Pittsburgh's dad stayed calm and saw his sons newly revealed condition as just another small obstacle to work around like the many others that he had encountered in his business world. He even started treating Pittsburgh this way. He no longer saw him as the potential that he could be, but instead saw him as a problem that needed to be solved and fixed. As his father lost sight of Pittsburgh's future, Pittsburgh himself lost sight of everything good and beautiful in life, more specifically, he lost his sight of color. No one noticed his loss of sight.

After almost a full year of being disappointed and looking down on his son, Pittsburgh's father decided to put aside all that he knew was wrong with Pittsburgh and planned to turn a new leaf with him. To celebrate his newfound unselfishness and Pittsburgh's new chance at a future he bought Pittsburgh his own set of color-coordinated saws. He took Pittsburgh out to the forest to teach him how to cut down trees and follow in the family's business footsteps.

Out in the forest Pittsburgh's showed Pittsburgh his new saw set and taught him how to use them. Pittsburgh's father told Pittsburgh that the red saw was for sawing through the thick bark on the outside of the tree, the blue saw was for cutting through the rest of the trunk of the tree and that the green saw was used to cut off the branches on the tree after it has fallen down. Then he asked Pittsburgh to pick up the red saw and to cut through the bark of a nearby tree.

Pittsburgh had no idea which saw was red. He looked from left to right at each saw and then at his father. Then he cried.

Pittsburgh's father finally learned one of Pittsburgh's last secrets. He couldn't believe that Pittsburgh could be color-blind. All that he could do was stare at his son as he cried helplessly on the forest floor. As each tear rolled down Pittsburgh's cheeks his father only saw a wasted life flow away drip by drip. Pittsburgh's tears fell off his face to the ground below. Within each tear that Pittsburgh shed, his father saw his own reflection for just a split second before it struck the ground and shattered. It was as if everything that came from his son was worthless and that all he had ever seen in his son was only a reflection of himself that he had projected on to Pittsburgh and could never stay without him there to provide the reflection.

After Pittsburgh's father realized that he had always only been looking for himself within Pittsburgh he was able to stop seeing him as he wanted him to be and was able to see him how he really was. He was a child without arms or legs. Literally.

How long has he been without arms and legs? It doesn't matter. No matter how long Pittsburgh had been in such a condition it didn't stop the ol' family bloodthirsty scalping genes from kicking in. Pittsburgh's father scalped the entire family with a shotgun. He came back to Pittsburgh in the forest and gave him the shotgun telling Pittsburgh to turn it on himself to put him out of his misery. Pittsburgh couldn't kill his own father willfully or even physically. Pittsburgh's dad was forced to accept this final failure and take his own life thinking that Pittsburgh really was completely useless and that he would bring the family name and company to amount to nothing.

Pittsburgh was brought into a foster care home a few weeks after the incident and then into my own house when he was 18 months old. Whenever I am with him he seems to be a normal happy kid, but, sometimes, at night, when I am completely quiet, I hear him gasping for breath and eating Twinkies by the box.

Oh, I just remembered, here's a fun fact: Pittsburgh got cracked today and the injury turned out to be fatal. He is no longer with me.

His death means that I have to write up a story to Child Protection Services basically explaining why his death wasn't my fault. I can't wait!

- Steve

Fan Mail

Tonight I got fan mail from a faithful reader of my old site at steve.mathcaddy.com! He wanted to know if that was the end of steve.mathcaddy.com as he knew it. Well that site sure has ended, but I hope that he likes the changes over here.

It felt so cool to get fan mail.

- Steve

To Do:

1. Post my thoughts about myspace


2. Finish up HTML for newbies guide


3. Type up egg story for LA for posting here


4. Debug site design and make it look good in Firefox

Ha. We'll see.

- Steve