Positive Thinking is for Losers

"Drown yourself with positive energy." "Keep telling yourself that you can do it - you can keep running, you can pass these guys." A lot of people tell me things like that a lot before my races. I especially heard it a lot this weekend before I ran in the Big 9 District Track Meet. I decided to give it a try.

All day before my race I kept telling myself that I was ranked 18th and the only way to move in the rankings was up. It was my last race and everything was going to be perfect. It was at our home stadium, there was good weather and I would be running against people my own speed that would only drive me to do my best.

Eventually the race rolled around and I was running. During the entire race I kept mulling over all the wonderfully light and fluffy thoughts in my head that told me that I was a great runner and I could do whatever I wanted. These warm thoughts drove me from last place at the beginning of my heat to last place during my heat and finally surged me ahead to second to last place out of all 30 guys running the event. A girl beat me too. Keep in mind that I started the race being ranked 18th out of the 30 guys - and 1st out of the girls. Well that ended quick, in a slow race kind of way.

So why did I end up doing so horribly in my race? It was positive thinking! Positive thinking snuck up into my head and ate away all my ambitious drive. When I was running and I kept telling myself that I was doing great, I could do whatever I wanted, that I needed to stay steady to save myself for the end of the race and to keep thinking good thoughts, I ended up just feeling content with myself. Being content during a race completely defaced my competitive drive and kept me more focused on feeling great about my self to run faster instead of actually running faster.

Positive thinking and all those sappy mind tricks may work for some people but I am more familiar with that voice in my head telling me that I am an idiot, that I can't win, that I should fall down or quit and that there is no way that I can beat anyone. Those are the thoughts that get me moving. Those thoughts make me realize that I am actually racing and that hurting is good and make me just suck up the pain and do my best.

I wish that Tyler Durden would "cheer" me on during my races.

- Steve