Cooking

We had rice-o-roni for dinner last night. (rice-e-roni? rice-a-roni? a, e, i, o, or u. you pick one. My older sister mentioned to my Mother that she didn't like it with the almonds in it. My Mom retorted that if she didn't like it, then she could just cook it herself.

My mind whirred.

*click*

After minding, whirring and clicking, I directed my Mom's attention away from my sister by saying "I'll cook from now on."

And that was the beginning of the new age of my culinary abilities.

During the rest of our dinner that night we talked more about what would need to be established before I was allowed to take up the job of cooking. The requirements of a fruit, vegetable, meat and starch option in every meal quickly threw out my idea of top ramen, easy-mac, microwaveable pizzas and ice cream every day, but as soon as budgeting issues came up the situation started to look a lot brighter.

My dad said that he would give me X amount of money each week for groceries and that I could keep any of the money that I did not spend. This didn't sit well with my sister and she quickly got her two cents into the conversation by saying that that was way too much money for each week. Seeing my beautiful opportunity dwindle rather quickly out of my reach, I tried to restore order to the table and get the conversation back in my control by saying "Why must we always argue at the table? All that we ever do is bicker and fight! Can't we just enjoy one meal in peace?" Everyone had a good laugh, except for me, and we went back to working out the details of me cooking.

I grabbed my legal pad and pen and started taking down suggestions for fruits, veggies, meats and starch. This was about when I realized how hard keeping track of all of the food would really be. It also looked like a lot of food and lots of food costs lots of money. Lots of money equals loss of profit and loss of profit turns rather quickly into half-servings of soup cut with water and day-old bread bought at half price.

I think that this whole cooking thing might turn out to be really fun and a great learning experience for me. I will learn to cook more good stuff, manage budgets and money better and, we all know that it is true, I will become like super sexy. The ladies will be lining up all around me... for food at least.

- Steve